I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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