you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
