well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
