What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
