We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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