The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
