He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
