No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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