that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm at about main and main street
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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