That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize