the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
