Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
