1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I got inside last night via doggy door
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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