Don't you send me to vm
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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