I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
