I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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