Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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