I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
