Already got asked if we're dating
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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