bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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