The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
