You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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