New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
