Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
