69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
