are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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