What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
