Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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