I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
