So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize