Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
