so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
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