I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
