if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
