I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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