just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Let's get the cat blown out
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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