i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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