You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
