those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
