she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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