Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
