Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
