This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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