My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
