yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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