They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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