if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
