We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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