I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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