Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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