he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
