Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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