Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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