YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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