My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
