do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize