U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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