I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize