So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
