who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I need a beard to bite.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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