You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
