when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
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Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
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okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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